Father's Day 2014

Father’s Day is coming up again, and it seems like the Dad buzz is high this year. Apparently, Dads are big in popular culture right now. It seems that people are suddenly realizing that there are involved Dads in the world. Wow! Who knew?

There are all kinds of articles and online photos about Dads actually doing things with their kids and what you should get these Dads for Father’s Day because “today’s Dad is more involved with his kids than ever!” There are still plenty of people trying to get you to buy cuff links (which would clearly get caught in your daughter’s hair, so…) or some cool gadget (that your kid would break within a day, so…)

...so, I got to thinking what I would really want for Father’s. I thought about it enough to write up my biennial blog posting, because every couple of years 140 characters or a Facebook post just aren’t enough for me. Last time I posted, I had my first Father’s Day with 3 kids.  This time, it’s my first Father’s Day with 4 kids. If the guy who wrote that last post read this one, he would be shocked (and probably scared), but here I am with 4 kids. #DadPlus4

Pencil holder and paperweight

And that brings me to what I want for Father’s Day. I actually don’t want anything more than I expect on Father’s Day, which will be akin to previous gifts of pencil holders and paperweights.  What I really want, though, as a dad of four, is Time.

I want one-on-one time with each of my kids. One day with each, maybe? My wife and I have discussed doing this. Each of us having a day with each kid to focus solely on her or him, but life with four kids makes it incredibly difficult to arrange. Heck, life with three kids made it hard enough!

But I think about how nice it would be to have the time to talk about the world (and other worlds) to my 7 year old without having to turn away from her to deal with a crying 2 year old or keep the 6 year old from waking the baby or one of the millions of other things that comes up when you have a big family.

I could take my 6 year old out on a guys' trip where we just sit quietly and enjoy being together. When we’re alone he’ll do that.  With the rest of the kids around, if he tries to sit with me, I can’t stay for long, because someone else wants or needs something or is teetering on the brink of disaster or needs to be beside me, too, which turns into a shoving match.

My 2 year old could have me all to herself to hug and kiss. She could show off for me without having to worry about a brother or sister trying to hone in on the act. I could ask her questions and give her time to answer without anyone else jumping in to answer before she could.  When she wants me to pick her up to dance, I could do it without having to worry about the bigger (much heavier) kids also wanting to be picked up.

The baby doesn’t need me alone for long, I don’t think. He probably gets me to himself more than anyone else does, even if it's twenty minutes when the rest of the kids have gone to bed. Judging by his smiles and laughs, he loves it. I just need to make the time for him in chunks and I think we’ll both be ok with that…for now.

I know I there are solutions to make this happen and in the end, I guess the only person that can give this Father’s Day gift to me is me. Time to get a plan in motion!

Happy Father’s Day to all the other dads out there! I hope you get some one-on-one time with your kids, so you can get to know each other just a little bit better.

Father's Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day.  I've been thinking about it enough to actually blog something for the first time in a long, long time.

My assumption is that I'll get lots of "Happy Father's Day!" and some cute presents that I'll love (even if it's a fist full of dirt).  I don't really care about getting presents for Father's Day.  I do care that my oldest will put some thought and creativity into it, my wacky boy will be thrilled to hand something to me (and probably shout "Happy Father's Day!" a bazillion times) and my baby will smile at me, 'cause she's really good at that.  This is the first time I'll be spending Father's Day with three people celebrating me.

They'll probably do that for about an hour after I wake up.  I may be lucky enough to sleep in tomorrow... like until 7:30am or maybe even 8:00am, but if I don't, I'm cool with that, 'cause it means Erin gets to sleep later and being a mom is far more exhausting than being a dad.  So the kids will be thrilled to celebrate me for about an hour and then go back to being my kids and probably whining, climbing on top of each other, complaining, destroying things, not wanting to eat what we give them or smiling at me.  Tessa is really a pretty awesome baby.  She smiles at me a lot.

I love my kids, and I love being a dad.  But really, none of that is enough to want me to dig up the old blog I haven't posted on in two years.  (Sorry, Tessa!  I didn't even post that you were born on here, but... well, Facebook totally killed this blog.)  Really, what brought it up is thinking about how I celebrate my father.

My father died when I was 18 years old.  Astoundingly, that was 22 years ago.  I've spent more years missing him than I spent with him.  My kids saved Father's Day from being only about missing my dad.  It's kind of hard not to think about your dead dad at a time when you see ads about what to get dad for Father's Day and whether he'd want a new smartphone or an iPad or an HD TV or one of the many other awesome things my dad never even got to know would exist.

I wish he could know about all those things.  I wish he could know about how amazing my wife is and how miserable/happy/exhausted/elated my own kids make me.  I wish he could know what I made of my life.  It's not always the greatest, but I'm pretty proud of what I've accomplished, and I think he'd be damn proud of me.

This year might be harder for me than most years, because not only am I a father three times over, but a few weeks ago, my next door neighbor passed away.  He left behind his wife and two teenage boys.  I can imagine what they're going to go through tomorrow.  The first Father's Day without their father.  I can imagine it, because I've lived through it.  It sucks.  It really, really sucks.  And it never gets better, but it gets easier sometimes.  You keep yourself busy and you focus on the dads around you.  Grandfathers' or uncles or friends with new babies... BEING a dad is awesome.  Missing a dad is not.

So, tomorrow, on Father's Day, you might be having a cookout or brunch or a steak dinner or doing something special with your dad.   Or, you might not be with your dad, but give him a call or Skype with him or text him.  Whatever you do, let him know that you love the heck out of him, 'cause some of us don't get to do that and really wish we had the opportunity that you do.  Don't just go through the paces this time.  Even if your dad pisses you off, 'cause dads can do that some times.  Love him anyway and let him know, in whatever way works for your relationship, that he's important to you.

And for those of you who are missing your dad this Father's Day or any other day... well... you're not alone.

Did You Miss Us?

Once again, I find myself apologizing for not updating this blog. This time it's been four months. Shameful, I know. There's lots of reasons for this. I put a lot of emphasis on putting up pictures and that takes a lot of time/effort. There are probably easier ways to do it than the way I do, but I haven't found something I like. The four months I've missed are a little intimidating, too. I've missed so much that I should fill you, dear reader, in on.

So, I've decided to just start right now. Forget the past and begin a new bloggity blog style and just write up what I want when I think of it. Maybe a sentence, maybe a picture thrown in there. Who knows!?

The Black family has been very busy lately. Erin has been working multiple jobs and we've had a revolving door of babysitters taking care of the kids. This past weekend we took part in a craft fair in Queens, selling Lyla Tov Monsters, sweaters and notecards. These all happen to be on sale at www.blacksrock.etsy.com as well.

I'll dedicate another post to talk about the Lyla Tov Monsters (see picture above), assuming I get into the swing of this blogging thing...

Yesterday, I took a day off from work to hang out with the kids and we went to the Queens County Farm Museum to pick some pumpkins. The weather has been fantastic! It was a great morning with the successful acquisition of three pumpkins and looking at lots of animals. Lyla painted her pumpkin soon after we got home, but Quinn prefers its natural state at the moment. We'll carve the third one closer to Halloween.

That's it for now. Let's see if I can post before another four months pass us by...

Quinn Turns Two!

Quinn hit his second year with style throwing our first ever backyard bash. His friends all had a great time playing in the sandbox, drinking juice boxes and riding around in plastic vehicles. Pics of the festivities are up in his birthday image gallery.

He even got to show off a little of his walking, though he seemed to still prefer the crawl.

Lyla's New Bike - Trike-a-thon

Lyla got a chance to put her new bike to the test during a neighborhood trike-a-thon to raise money for Hope & Heroes. Quinn mostly was carried along, though he did get some time on his trike. He's just not so big on keeping his feet on the pedals just yet. More pics to come later... you know... eventually...

Back by Popular Demand!

I've neglected The Rock for too long it would seem and the outrage has been singular (namely from my brother). So, to keep you upon the Black Family's activities, I've put December and January up in one gallery.

The quick update is that Quinn is walking around a little more when supported, but still not on his own. He also just started speech and feeding therapy (that makes three therapies... oy!). He LOVES his Music for Aardvarks class and just about anything else having to do with music. On the other hand, he's not a big fan of snow.

Lyla is still having a great time in her dance classes and at pre-school. She spends a lot of time in our "Art Center" and has made many valentines and other artistic masterpieces.

We currently are having a couple weeks of grandmother mania. Erin is doing some work for NYU, so our mom's have agreed to help out with the kids. Grandma Jane is in right now and about to head back to Wisconsin. Next week, Mima comes over to put in her time with the little ones.

Lyla and Quinn will be making a visit to the mikvah next week to have their official conversion to Judaism and then on Saturday, they'll receive their Hebrew names at our synagogue.

I should have made a New Year's resolution to fill in the blog more, but I guess I missed that boat. Oh well! ;-)